every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Even the bartender felt bad for me
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
