We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
is wine microwaveable?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
