found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
