If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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