operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
