Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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