oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize