she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
