I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I forgot how hot balto sounded
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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