Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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