yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize