I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We need to get me chipped asap
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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