i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
