You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
