when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
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at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
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Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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