Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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