it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
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