Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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