We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize