Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
