i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
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I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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