Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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