I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
