So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
