her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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