Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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