Buhtt sex?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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