Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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