peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize