hell yes lets make some ravioli
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
