He is an equal opportunity slut.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
