Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
