I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
