i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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