Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
