Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
