omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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