if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
someone get that fucking seahorse.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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