so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
