We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
