They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
