can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Randomize
