I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
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He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
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And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.