at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
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I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
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Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack