I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
