This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
