Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
