i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.