Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up

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(816): I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up http://tfl.nu/d7fo

Replies (25) Good night (848) Bad night (5594)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.

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(201): It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you. http://tfl.nu/kclk

Replies (26) Good night (1080) Bad night (4606)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.

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(865): Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all. http://tfl.nu/2gc2

Replies (10) Good night (796) Bad night (3205)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.

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(203): I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour. http://tfl.nu/xoad

Replies (26) Good night (8372) Bad night (1117)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.

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(701): she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends. http://tfl.nu/prst

Replies (13) Good night (1088) Bad night (4239)
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(586): View more from Michigan

he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.

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(586): he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck. http://tfl.nu/s6ky

Replies (15) Good night (5441) Bad night (1181)
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(416): View more from Toronto

you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.

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(416): you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall. http://tfl.nu/i92r

Replies (11) Good night (4604) Bad night (1077)
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(708): View more from Illinois

hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today

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(708): hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today http://tfl.nu/usqr

Replies (10) Good night (1956) Bad night (1276)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.

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(337): Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture. http://tfl.nu/8896

Replies (3) Good night (1072) Bad night (2286)
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(707): View more from California

We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.

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(707): We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE. http://tfl.nu/7oeu

Replies (9) Good night (1402) Bad night (2371)
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(805): View more from California

I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.

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(805): I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly. http://tfl.nu/8ih5

Replies (45) Good night (10194) Bad night (1449)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.

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(720): I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice. http://tfl.nu/c8dh

Replies (9) Good night (1252) Bad night (496)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band

(312): View more from Illinois

Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume

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(402): Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band (312): Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume http://tfl.nu/sqqx

Replies (19) Good night (2946) Bad night (800)
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(434): View more from Virginia

I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.

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(434): I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism. http://tfl.nu/xlca

Replies (3) Good night (616) Bad night (350)
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(917): View more from New York City

Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.

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(917): Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out. http://tfl.nu/jrjf

Replies (1) Good night (623) Bad night (229)

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