It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.