think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
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I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
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My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.