She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
we're so committed to being not committed
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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