I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
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And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
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So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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