This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
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