Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
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Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought