Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.