Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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