My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
