dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
