just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i've created a new STD.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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