In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
