Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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