I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
