so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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