People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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